I have spent a lot of time, this year, re-thinking my activities. Everyone goes through periods of reflection, some of us actually take action. My steps have been slow, but sure. Working with blackberries gave me time to reflect on a LOT of things.

Driving out to the orchard I picked the blackberries reminded me that there is a whole other world that I am missing. Most of my regular drive time is spent on the highway. The highway is a concrete ribbon that twists behind and around our cities, helping you save time on your travels.

The highway is boring, predictable, and cold. Daily use builds callouses on our eyes. We learn not to see the beauty and simplicity of life in smaller towns.

Is this a mid-life crisis? Perhaps. I’m tired of the game. I’m tired of taking care of the corporate world. I want to take care of my family. My family is more than my husband. My family includes my son and his wife, my aging parents and mother-in-law, my sister, her son, and my niece and her two young children.

I want to serve the Lord, if He would chose to use me.

I want to break this feeling of a concrete wall surrounding me, requiring me to do the practical thing. I want to sing. I want to write. I want to create. I’ve always been afraid to do these things. Partially because I don’t think I’m good enough. Partially because I had basic responsibilities to take care of.

I have one contract left to let go. In order to let it go, I need to move a large file cabinet, bookshelf, and desks. In order to move them I have to make a place for them. I’m working on that, but too slowly for my liking. It’s causing me more frustration, the longer it takes. I hoped August 30 would be the last day, but looks like at least mid Sept, if not the end of the month.

I need this move. Hopefully, it will help me break the gates holding back my creativity and the waters will flow.

Tags: blackberry, reflect, reflection